When and how to give up the dummy

A dummy can be a lifesaver at three in the morning, so giving it up can feel daunting. The advice depends on your child’s age. Here’s what UK guidance and the research say, and some gentle ways to say goodbye.

Is a dummy a good idea for my young baby?

It can be, at sleep times. The NHS suggests thinking about using a dummy to settle your baby to sleep, as some research suggests it can help lower the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).¹ The Lullaby Trust says nobody yet knows exactly why.² The evidence comes from comparing babies who died of SIDS with babies who didn’t, so it shows a link rather than cause and effect.³

If you use one, the Lullaby Trust suggests waiting until breastfeeding is well established (usually around 4 weeks), offering it for every sleep but not when your baby is awake, and not putting it back in if it falls out. Never use a neck cord or put anything sweet on it.²

SIDS is most likely in the first 6 months, though it can affect babies up to 12 months old.¹ The Lullaby Trust suggests gently stopping the dummy between 6 and 12 months.²

When should we stop?

There isn’t one age that everyone agrees on:

• The Lullaby Trust says between 6 and 12 months, to avoid misaligned teeth and ear infections from longer use.²
• The Welsh Government’s Talk With Me factsheet suggests thinking about it from 6 months, so your baby is dummy-free by 12 months.⁴
• One NHS trust advises against a dummy once your child is over 18 months.⁵
• The NCT, a UK parenting charity, says it has been recommended to stop by 2 to minimise damage to the teeth.⁶

A 2018 review found moderate evidence linking dummies with an open bite (when the front teeth don’t meet) and a crossbite, though good-quality studies are missing. Several studies linked open bite with use past 2 or 3 years, and orthodontic-shaped dummies with less open bite than ordinary ones.⁷

Will a dummy stop my child learning to talk?

The research is thin and mixed. A 2021 review found only four studies on sucking habits and speech sounds, and they didn’t agree, though three linked longer dummy or thumb sucking with speech difficulties.⁸

In a study of 100 UK children aged 2 to 5, most measures of speech weren’t linked to dummy use. Younger children who used a dummy more in the daytime made more unusual speech errors, which the researchers say may go away with time. Night-time use made no difference.⁹ In a study of 1,187 children in Norway, more daytime use was linked with knowing fewer words at 1 and 2, but parents had to remember how much their child used it, and the study can’t show the dummy was the cause.¹⁰

The Talk With Me factsheet says daytime use is more likely to affect speech than night-time use, and suggests taking the dummy out when your child is babbling or learning to talk, so they can try out sounds.⁴ So if your toddler wants to chat, take it out first.

How do we give it up?

The NCT says some parents stop gradually and others all at once, and there isn’t really a best way.⁶ We couldn’t find research comparing the two, so pick what suits your family.

• Bit by bit. One NHS trust suggests keeping the dummy for bed and leaving it there when your child gets up, then taking it away for short times, then longer.⁵
• All at once. Choose a calm week and clear out the spares, so there isn’t one in a drawer at 2am.
• Give them a part to play. The NCT suggests giving the dummy to someone important to them, a visit from the “dummy fairy”, or swapping it for a cuddly toy or gift.⁶ If you’d rather not tell a fib, give the dummies away or put them in the bin together, and say the present is from you.
• Read about it first. In our story Bye-Bye, Dummy, a toddler gives their dummies to three baby animals, then misses them at bedtime.

What about the first few nights?

Expect some tears. Your child is losing a long-time comfort, and it’s fine for them to be sad.

• Keep bedtime the same. The NHS suggests a simple, soothing routine, such as a bath, a story, a cuddle and a lullaby.¹¹
• Offer other comforts. Stay a little longer, hold their hand, hum a song. A toddler can cuddle a soft toy, but for babies under 12 months the Lullaby Trust advises no soft toys or comforters in the cot.¹²
• Be kind to yourself. If it’s going badly, it’s fine to go back to sleep times only and try again in a few weeks.

Getting support

Your health visitor can help at any time, and checks your child’s talking at reviews at about 1 year and 2 to 2½ years.¹³ One NHS trust says that if your child’s speech hasn’t improved three months after giving up the dummy, ask your health visitor or GP about speech and language therapy.⁵

NHS dental care for children is free. The NHS says to take your child to the dentist when their first teeth come through, or before they’re 12 months old, so problems can be spotted early.¹⁴